i've been drifting away. but im coming back Lord. anyway this encouraged me, my couzin gave me the link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4yTNBIZ8as&feature=related

and i dunno, i think God has opened my spiritual eyes to alot of things, that i dont know i know, until i actually have to say it out when someone asks. been very hungry for the truth, and i think the real reason why i've been drifting away is not cuz of distractions or wad, more like im lazy, i dont wanna work so hard, get that horrible feeling of doubting, of digging hard at the hard ground with my nails for that treasure i know is there. i know, but the pain, and the agony, the hardwork makes em lose sight of it. sorry Lord, i only look to You and smile at You when i feel like i can seek You, when i feel im up to it. but no more, help me, i know this period sure got more than ever times that i will drift away even more, but thank You, and i trust You're forever so gracious, thanks for sending friends who really care, dat's wad a best friend is really for.. to pull me back to my Friend, my Lover, my Father, my Lord God Jesus Christ.

yupp, anyway that video made me think abt 1 John. the first 2 chapters talk about true Christians, that they ought to to living in the light, and be in the knowledge of God. and many ask, how do we know God, we obey His commandments first, or issit really like the verse, when we obey we know Him, like its a symptom. i really believe it's both! and this video confirms it. when we accept Christ, asking Him to change us, we are born again. and this faith, it is the work of God, and it is an act of our will to accept it. He then transforms us, and gives us a new Spirit, that new Spirit is placed in us, by the power of the living God, and because of our will to accept it. and thus, we obey, cause we are new, no more bound by the power of sin, but we still have to choose. hence the false Christians John talks abt in 1 John is those that are totally blind to this truth, those that totally dont feel dirty or unworthy when they sin, that they are of darkness, not in the light, not transformed. yupp. know my phrasing not good lah, if anyone disagrees or wad can clarify with me. yupps.

remember, God is always there, whether You feel Him or not, whether You like it or not, and He loves You. pour all your doubts, confusion and whatever nonsense to Him, yupp, and ask Him to purify ur heart. yupp just sth to encourage u all and stuff

have a victorious week!

manda