I Made A Pact, I'll Not Turn Back.

Aye, its the end of my holidays, and the start of the Exam Week.

Praise God for giving me an average score in a test i screwed up, although i'm still trustin Him with the other test, in which prospects look darker...

Anyways, this break i had, three weeks, was spent mostly on camps and going back to school to do practical, so its pretty 'hyphenated' in a sense.

Looking back at the camps, i would say its pretty worth it to actually push myself to attend them. For all the doubts planted before them, the duration within them actually showed me good cause to go for what i paid for.


W.A.N.T.E.D - Group Leader

Its easy to understand how bad the shortage of leaders can be yeah, if each group is gonna take the 13 / 17 kids originally stated, i guess half of the new leaders may be kaput at the end of the camp... o.o ...

So when Rachel called me for the second time during class, its just - Yes, i am willing to be a leader. So thats it, an agreement between me, who wanted to try being leader again for experiences, and a camp which is completely unpredictable.

One thing that is unique about this year's camp... its before it even started. Ever since school started i've literally been going out everyday, to the Leader's Retreat, to the weekends spent on planning devotion, to the Sunday before camp proper, and finally, the cell dinner on monday.

The experience which kicked everything off was actually during Leader's Retreat [Wednesday], i brought a leader to ECP in the morning, took off to SP for my test, and came back... and needed to walk [ Avg 2km ] to the meeting place. By the time i reached home, it was 10. Tiring indeed, but Thursday is an important and exhausting day [Presentations, 4-Hour Practical], so tahan bah!

Friday i could have gotten a break, but theres a chance to meet a friend whom i nvr seen since dunno how long. So i happily skipped off to tampines after a night of rest. The day carried over to Reachlight, after which i knew i was exhausted.

Saturday, met my co-leader, Crystal, and Kelvin for devotion discussion. Ended up Kelvin's co-leader couldent make it, so its 3 of us in starbucks going through what we were presented in the small notebook. Soon enough, its done, so was the design of our group tags. In the late afternoon we just packed and went off... tired...

Sunday, i just realised that i havent contacted the guys in my camp group [ alamak ]. Morning, spam smses and phone calls. Probably its Sparklight time, so its hard to reach all of them...
During cell i asked Sam Low to help me pray over this problem, for its obvious what the consequences would be if i didnt get to them on time. However, by His Grace, all expected SMS replies came to me during Speedlight.

However, even if this has been a victory, i didnt feel it. Somehow i felt hollow, like, how could i ever forget to do such an important task ? And so, with my tired state, my mind was open to doubts, which came to me, about my real capabilities to lead my people in the group. Even so i half-dreaded going to the camp. However, one thing struck me - Last year i took the group alone, it was hard, except that i had 3 exceptional members who helped support me throughout. This year, i do not know any of my group members, neither did Crystal. So, instead of just wallowing in self-pity i decided to drag myself to the camp and face what i brought into my life.

What i have decided the year, and month before, whether i will have victory, i will do my best.

Indeed, i guess one trait i get from games is that the enemy dont simply let us poke them into submission.

W.A.N.T.E.D Camp - Day 1

When i woke up that day, it seemed different. The first thing i thought of is - Camp. So its a normal day, lugging my pack to church and the first thing i saw in there - A mass of parents and campers all lined up along the porch. Amazingly, not a single camp leader / commitee member was there, and i was -> O_O

Everyone soon came, and i had a chance to catch up with some co-leaders during last year's Step-Out Camp. Notably those whom i never saw for ages, its refreshing to see them well, and participating in the Wanted Camp too.

The day passed quickly with games and Sam Phua sabo-ing MY GROUP on our very FIRST game with a water bomb. In the evening we had a time to rest before Underground Church, and during the game itself, i guess the kids had a chance to actually have a very basic 'feel' on what its like to be a Christian in the former Soviet Union and China and stuff. A couple of my kids got hurt as its dark and there are unintentional traps on the ground, and 2 of my kids got 'tortured'. When they came back its hard to just tell them 'Its okay' and act like nothing happened cos one of them was going T_T alr, and its confusion as we wont be getting any rest anytime soon, so... sorry guys, but i guess we have to just keep going for now.

After all thats done, after UC, debrief, and a dry throat, finally managed to sit down with a couple of fellow group leaders to help them in devotion. During that time i realised something... that what i shared with them, its not coming from my conscious mind, and what i am telling them, i am telling myself too. What was just a simple sentance revealed its true meaning to me, which in turn, led me to greater discoveries within His Word.

I guess as a final form of humour, i returned to my tent to find the 4 dudes inside sleeping... and my space is... not wide enough for me, and not long enough for me... sheesh...


W.A.N.T.E.D Camp - Day 2

Wake up. You got a long day ahead. How good you want it to be, it depends on yourself.

Just like Last Year.

My throat hurts, my jacket stinks, and the tent is bloody hot with the sun, cooped up air and 5 people's body heat radiating it. A hundred other complains simply disappeared when i crawled out of the tent... A bad way to start my day, but i guess i'll have to make do.

Before devotion started i asked God - Can i really do this ? After all, you seen my fall leading to this camp.
I realised the importance of this camp... one decisive factor is that it could either lead me back to God in the greatest of miracles, or simply doom me until revival somehow comes into my life.

However, i realised that God helps. We taught during the devotion, and somehow, every word that i say out in a hoarse tone came back to me. What i previously didnt know, was revealed, and the once - difficult devotion - became one which is made easy through the guide itself. And for the first time, it makes perfect sense.

Its amazing how fellowship can bond a group together. Former strangers truly bonded during the games which were played. Since we had an odd number, i simply hopped back and became an observer [and temporary game-master XD] to see how my group performed. Although there are still personality clashes, i realised that its not a desire, but its a stage of being young. Sometimes there are kids who wanted to go all the way while others are still behind [with painful results], and others who wont cliche with the rest [eg. boys and girls].

On that night, we had a testimony from Enrico Ventura. Its moving, and it probably reflected what had happened in my life. During that time of prayer, it probably gave me back my sense of self-worth. That i could actually make a difference, whether big or small. That God really does have a plan for me. Its only whether i will accept it, Carry the Cross, and Follow Him. That said, the first step we all did, camp leaders and camp comm alike, was to pray for our people. To me, its as long as they had the prayer, its enough. They are young, they may already be exposed to the world. But its not too late.

Camp theme - Wanted by Law, Saved by Grace.

Yes, we are wanted by Law. We are born sinners through Adam, and the penalty of sin is death. But, its not too late. It never was too late, and the reason lies on the second part of the theme - Saved by Grace. That God will send His son to be a sacrifice for us, to cleanse our sins and take it upon Himself, thats one thing i had trouble getting to grips with at first. However, its through His works, that i can see clearer.

I'll admit, the interaction this year wasnt as good as last year, most probably its packed to the max with activities. At least theres time for devotion, and I really thank God for making it happen.

What is typed out on top, it will not be possible if i had just given up. Its not possible if i simply said - "I'm sorry, i cannot do this. Its too tough for me and its bad not just for the camp but for the kids as well." Apart from gaining all these experiences, the camp directly strengthened my faith. Through all the experiences, and stuff i chatted about with the other leaders, it confirmed what i hoped to do since the start.

I hope for change. I'm sick of seeing people ruin their lives. Even Christians who simply take God for granted. I can see that, even during the camp. But still, i pray for change. I may not be the one to change them, for all my strengths i am only a rookie, but i do pray, that someday, a fellow sibling in Christ will pick those who are lost, and change them anew.

I do pray for us all, that although we may have differences with one another, let us just support each other in our walk with God.

Thank You Lord.


In His Love
Dino